Be a Poet!
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Yes, now you, too, can be a poet!
Are you tired of leading a prosaic existence? Do you often wonder why poets lead such exhilarating lives and get away with dangling their participles?
It is because poets have a Poetic License. But now you, too, can enjoy this rare opportunity, thanks to our Famous Poets School. It’s as simple as rhyming fish and phone.
To find out if you qualify for this amazing (never-to-be-repeated) offer, simply answer the following questions and mail to Phosphene Publishing Company. We’ll decide if you have hidden talents. Let the Famous Poets School put you into the exciting new career of poetry writing!
1. Which of the following words rhyme?
a.) Fred
b.) George
c.) June
d.) moon
2. Complete the following rhyme:
Hickory dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the __________.
a.) flagpole
b.) street
c.) clock
3. Shakespeare was
a.) a famous poet
b.) a laundry detergent
c.) a type of meatloaf
If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, then you are a poet and don’t even know it!
Hear what our happy, satisfied customers say:
“Before I rote the Famus Poets School, I couldn’t even spell, but now I rite all the tyme.”
—Nancy Worsewords
London, England
“The Famous Poets School made me what I am today.”
—Norman Sailor
New York, NY
“My very first haiku I sold for $40,000. Thank you Famous Poets School!”
—Jerry Richfellow
Salem, Mass.
“I used to be a ditch digger ’til I got me one of ’em Poetic Licenses. Now I writes poetry all the time while my wife does the ditches.”
—Henry Welfare
Houston, Texas
Don’t delay!
Mail Today!
Yes! Please rush me my very own Poetic License. On my honor I swear I took the test and didn’t cheat. Enclosed also please find $5 for postage and panhandling fees.
name: _____________________________________________________
address: ___________________________________________________
city: _________________________ state: __________ zip: _________
Mail to Phosphene Publishing Company
4019 River Drive
Houston, TX 77017
Offer void in states where poetry prohibited.
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